By Michael Gilmour 

I'm never ceased to be amazed at the insanity of some pilots. We've all met them. They're the ones at the pub that brag about their piloting prowess when in reality they're displaying ignorance and stupidity. It's only a matter of time before they become another aviation statistic.

I happened to bump into one guy that bragged about flying with a can of ‘Jim Beam’ sitting between his legs. He thought it was hilarious and proved just how good a pilot he was. Obviously drinking and flying is a sign of your great piloting skills. Go figure? It's when you hear stories like this you wish the CASA drug testers were just around the corner.

Another story is of a pilot that loaded up an Archer with three adult passengers and some baggage tossed in the back. He'd obviously never heard of ‘weight and balance’. When I asked him if he was overloaded (there is no way that he wasn't) he said that he knew the aircraft better than any pilot operating handbook.

Let's explore the logic of that last statement. This pilot was saying that they knew better than the myriad of experts that built and have maintained the aircraft, let alone the various government bodies that have tested the plane and the manufacturers claims over the last 30 years or so. He was then prepared to back his judgement by placing his life and the lives of his passengers on the line so that they could effectively go on a joy flight. Why? Why do some pilots insist on doing the most utterly stupid things? This wasn't done out of some sense of ignorance but the overloading was evaluated and it was determined that he knew better.

I then had the opportunity to hear another story about a pilot that was asked if he had some spare room in his six seater and he replied, "No problem, plenty of room". As he headed down the runway he had difficulty getting the nose in the air and was beginning to panic as the end rushed towards him. At the last minute the plane managed to get airborne. The next stage of nerves hit when the pilot wondered if there were trees at the end of the runway as he was taking off in the dark. Thank goodness the area was clear!

After finally levelling off he glanced in the back of the plane to count a total of eight people onboard his six seater plane. So much for seat belts and why bother doing any sort of passenger briefing or even checking the aircraft prior to flight? If a pilot doesn't even know how many people are in his plane then you've got to ask what else is he forgetting or choosing to ignore?

But it gets worse. A part of the journey was going to be over water which meant that in the event of a ditching there wouldn't have been enough floatation devices for all those on board! It was more by good luck than good judgement that the plane made it to its destination in one piece. Thank goodness that the designers over engineer many of the components and systems in aircraft as I imagine that the overloading would have played havoc with the landing gear upon hitting the tarmac.

I listened to this story being told and I must admit it that I was completely dumbstruck as the pilot bragged about the experience. He thought that it was a great joke! There was no laughing from me and this was reinforced when I told him he was an idiot and more than that, a lucky idiot.

About six months ago I was talking to a friend that runs an aviation school and he told me that one morning he was called over by a student who was checking out a twin. The propeller had a huge chunk taken out of it about 12 centimetres of the way from the end. Obviously it had violently collided with something and that caused so much damage that the propeller was completely unserviceable.

Checking back through the records, the plane had been flown the previous evening by a pilot from Tooradin to Moorabbin airport and they hadn't reported any problems. When asked whether they'd hit anything the previous evening there was complete denial.

A short hop down to Tooradin showed that a number of runway lights with their cement housings had been smashed. In fact, further inspection of the written-off propeller showed there were pieces of blue coloured glass (ie. lights) embedded into it.

Let's just think about this incident for a minute. I'm no engineer but I do know that if a propeller is missing a big bit out of it that it's not likely to be in balance. Two things could occur. The first being that under the immense G-forces the rest of the prop snaps off thereby dropping a shaft of steel into some poor unsuspecting person’s lounge room. The second is that under the intense centrifugal forces the engine itself decides to wander off its housing and drops into aforementioned house. Either event will result in metal falling from the air, closely followed by cockpit, wings and finally tail. Maybe not in that order but you get the idea. 

Literally losing an engine in mid-flight would be an experience that I would have thought that most pilots would find relatively uncomfortable. An almighty bang, followed by a sudden loss of power in one engine I think would give you just enough time to turn your head to see the engine flip off into the darkness in a ball of flame.

Assuming that the wing was still intact (which is highly debatable) the sudden loss of weight from the exiting engine would flip the plane onto its back and rapidly begin to give you a close up view of the ground. I'm not an aerodynamics expert but something really nasty would happen which would cause you to meet your maker.

So picture this. You're piloting a twin, smashed a few lights taxiing, taken a hunk of metal out of the propeller in the process so you get the brilliant idea that you should calmly make your CTAF take-off call. This is all the while the plane is nearly shaking itself to pieces due to the intense vibrations caused by the now defunct prop. I think that you've really got to questions your piloting skills at this point and ask yourself, is the ‘get-their-it is’ syndrome affecting your judgement so much that you'll need to get dentures from the vibrations that are by now shattering your teeth?

Why is it that these situations always get worse? After choosing to ignore all the signs of potential disaster you taxi onto the runway and then apply take-off power to the engines. Have you ever noticed that a twin’s propellers are never in line with the pilot's seat? I feel that it's for people like this that don't really appreciate that a propeller spinning really fast may also decide to embed itself into their lungs, particularly when it's suffered the torment this one had.

Despite the massive vibrations that must have been taking place the pilot flies his friends for 15 minutes to Moorabbin and then pretends as if nothing has happened. One, they were lucky to survive, two, they could have killed others, three, the manufacturer who designed the propeller should be given a medal. An award like, ‘We design things to stop raving lunatics from trying to kill themselves’, would seem really appropriate.

So what is it that causes some people to be completely raving bonkers? In reality I think that it's the aviation industry that is at fault. If we were back in the days of the caveman these same people would be irresistibly drawn to go and pat a bear or try and ride on the back of a sabre toothed tiger. They would be promptly removed from the gene pool and that would be the end of it. Evolution would be proved correct and humanity would be made that much stronger.

The problem today is that aviation is so incredibly safe. Parts are tracked by super-computers and maintenance schedules border on the paranoid so that these numb skulls survive through their training and some get a few hundred hours solo flying. In terms of risk, miraculously these individuals even manage to survive crossing the road which for them is more a game of live ‘frogger’.

The challenge for the rest of us is that these same pilots are flying in the circuit either behind, in front or who knows where with us. This reminds me of an incident that occurred when one day I was on early finals when a plane appeared above me as they cut their downwind and base legs short in the act of completing more of an oval rather than a rectangle. I think that when the tower said, "follow the Cherokee", they viewed it as an advisory statement as they were obviously in a race to see how fast they could get the wheels on the ground.

All I know was that when I saw that plane I was out of there. While there were crazies in the air I was very happy to do orbits out to the north and, after catching my breath (and my heart), I radioed the tower to let them know my predicament.

The whole aviation industry from parts through to training and even air law is predicated upon the fact that pilots sometime make mistakes and there is often wide enough room to accommodate genuine errors (sadly, sometimes there isn't). It's this over cautiousness around safety that some individuals are exploiting to the detriment and potential disaster of us all.

Consider the separation of aircraft. Right now there is a maximum of eight planes in the circuit at Moorabbin which means that there is a large separation between each one. This allows lots of space around trainee pilots when they mess things up as they go through their training.

As my personal experience has illustrated some people view the separation as their opportunity to jump in and weave some magic which can potentially leave a trail of devastation behind them. If you are one of these people that feel the urge to save a few dollars on avgas and get the plane down on the ground in a time limit then please, for all that's sensible, resist the temptation and obey the rules: they are there for a reason.

Aviation is like almost everything in life. When you have a pool of people then there will always be a small minority that can spoil it for everyone. They think that the rules don't apply to them and that they can throw a little Piper Warrior or Cessna 172 around the skies as if it's in a Red Bull race. The problem with aviation is that the results of these ‘cowboy’ like attitudes can end in a ball of fire.

My recommendation is that if you have been guilty of inappropriate practices then mend your ways and be the safe pilot who you were always meant to be. If not for your fellow aviators’ sake, then for the sake of your family and friends. I've said it many times before, "Pilots have the most fun in the most unforgiving of environments." So let's all fly safe and enjoy a long aviation future together.